My dear son, it's another one of those really bad days. It's the night before another birthday, another day that should be a celebration but instead I am dreading it, not because I'm getting older, but because it is one more day without you.
I can never have a birthday with all 3 of my children together. Even when you were in Italy and Iraq, you called, you sent a card, a gift..........and now I can't even hear your voice. I feel like everything is just tumbling down around me and there is nothing I can do to make it better.
I feel guilty, too, because I still have your Dad, your sister, your brother, my two precious grandbabies and my two other children, Kenny and Amber - and I'm very blessed to have all of them - but our lives are just not complete without you.
So, somehow, I have got to shake this off, put a smile on my face and face the day tomorrow. One day, there will be no more of this pain - but that day won't be here on this earth.
Miss you SOOO much Chris!!
With Love,
Mom
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Our Last Family Gathering
Hello Son,
Today marks five years that the whole family was last together with you. You and your sister and brother surprised Dad and I with a 25th Anniversary party. I never thought anyone could surprise me but you three pulled it off!!
Thinking of how much fun we had and how everyone was together not knowing it would be the last time the family gathered with you. I still remember the words of your toast and the beautiful message on the video. It makes me cry every time I think of it, though, as you talked about raising a family and following our example. I always knew you would make a great husband and daddy but that is one dream you weren't able to live. Only God knows why He took you before that could happen.
I have a tough time this time of year and this year seems even worse than the past few years. I am already dreading the holidays and the anniversary of you leaving us. It just doesn't get any easier.
How I wish I could see that smiling face - even just one more time. I love you baby and always will.
Until we meet again,
Mom
Today marks five years that the whole family was last together with you. You and your sister and brother surprised Dad and I with a 25th Anniversary party. I never thought anyone could surprise me but you three pulled it off!!
Thinking of how much fun we had and how everyone was together not knowing it would be the last time the family gathered with you. I still remember the words of your toast and the beautiful message on the video. It makes me cry every time I think of it, though, as you talked about raising a family and following our example. I always knew you would make a great husband and daddy but that is one dream you weren't able to live. Only God knows why He took you before that could happen.
I have a tough time this time of year and this year seems even worse than the past few years. I am already dreading the holidays and the anniversary of you leaving us. It just doesn't get any easier.
How I wish I could see that smiling face - even just one more time. I love you baby and always will.
Until we meet again,
Mom
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