My dear son, it's another one of those really bad days. It's the night before another birthday, another day that should be a celebration but instead I am dreading it, not because I'm getting older, but because it is one more day without you.
I can never have a birthday with all 3 of my children together. Even when you were in Italy and Iraq, you called, you sent a card, a gift..........and now I can't even hear your voice. I feel like everything is just tumbling down around me and there is nothing I can do to make it better.
I feel guilty, too, because I still have your Dad, your sister, your brother, my two precious grandbabies and my two other children, Kenny and Amber - and I'm very blessed to have all of them - but our lives are just not complete without you.
So, somehow, I have got to shake this off, put a smile on my face and face the day tomorrow. One day, there will be no more of this pain - but that day won't be here on this earth.
Miss you SOOO much Chris!!
With Love,
Mom
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