Another Christmas

Dear Chris,

It was hard - another Christmas without you. How you loved Christmas! All week long, as I tried to busy myself and not "think", memories filled my mind at an even faster pace than usual. Over and over, I kept picturing your last moments - what were you thinking, how were you feeling. I can't bear the thought that you suffered so much those last minutes of your life. And I wasn't there to protect my baby.

Yesterday, after placing flowers at your gravesite, little Christopher was asking me why I was so sad. Then he put his "sad face" on and told me that he was sad too because he missed Uncle Chris so much. He wants to come and see you but I told him that he had to wait a long time. I did tell him, though, that once he saw his Uncle Chris that he would never ever be separated from him - that we would all be together forever! He smiled!

God continues to bless me but nothing will ever replace the loss I have suffered. Your memories keep me going until we are together again.

Missing you and loving you,

Mom

Four Years of Missing You

My precious son, Chris,

I can't believe you left us four years ago today for your eternal resting place. I relive that day so many times...over and over again. And still, there are times it doesn't seem real.

I had the privilege of being your mother for almost 23 years; I was truly blessed. You were one of a kind and touched my life in so many beautiful ways.

My heart still aches, the tears still flow...and I hold onto the wonderful memories.

Until we meet again........and it will be FOREVER!!!

I love you with all my heart,

Mom

The Sadness Begins

Dear Chris,

I woke up today, remembering this morning four years ago - December 1, 2005. I had to leave very early that morning for an overnight business trip and I didn't want to go.

The day before you had come home from work early as sick as I had ever seen you. As I walked in your room that morning to kiss you goodbye, I was so torn. How could I leave? But I knew I couldn't do anything but pray and your Dad was around, and so I reluctantly left. Thankfully you were much better that night when I called you.

Little did I know then had little time I had left with you. I would not have gone if I had any idea.

I miss you so much son!!

I love you,

Mom