The Sadness Continues

Dear Chris,

I'm going through a rough time right now and at times like this I miss you more than ever. I never expected you to solve my problems but there was just something about your smile and your reassurances that made things better.

I have been going through so many "flashbacks" lately - not sure why. And even some of the anger issues are trying to resurface but so far I'm keeping them at bay. I don't want to go there again - I've forgiven and I can't go back.

I know you are in the best place possible.....and I know, one day, I will join you. It hurts to know that some may never see you again....but I am only responsible for myself....and I'll be there!!!!

I love you so much and miss you more than ever,

Mom

Another One of Those Days

Hi Son,

It's another one of those days...I call them my "Chris Days". I wake up on these days and nothing goes right all day long. I "see" you everywhere, can't stop thinking about you and wish you were here to comfort me.

On days like today, I just want to crawl back in the bed, hide under the covers and hope when I wake all my pain will be gone.

I miss you so much!!!

Love ya,

Mom

Life Goes On

Dear Chris,

I've often heard it said that babies are God's way of showing us that life goes on. In the same hospital where you left us, a new life entered the world this weekend.

Though I haven't met him in person yet, I've seen pictures of him....and little Colton is a beautiful blessing for James and Alissa. I know you are proud of James and I believe he will make a great Daddy.

These little blessings have their own special angel watching over them..........Christopher, Mikey, Ryder and now Colton. I wish you could be here to share the joy with James but I know you are looking down and smiling upon him.

I had always thought that you would've been such a good Daddy.....but I will never be able to see that happen.

Missing you so much and loving you always,

Mom